I last left off with an intro to my diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis and a quick back-ground on me and what to expect here. I said I would save the beginning of managing this disease for another day and, honestly the more I think about it, the more I realize I am still in the beginning of managing this. So let me tell you something I deal with all the time - including today. Part of managing UC is food...food - food - always food. When you have UC people tell you to eat this but not that, try to limit this and eat lots of that, take this supplement but stay far away from that one, lots of small meals vs. three squares, chew your food, juice your food, blend your food, grow your own food - ALWAYS something to do with food. I've tried a couple different things so far, unsuccessfully - the specific carb diet with it's heavy reliance on nuts to substitute for grain threw me into an awful flare last summer that resulted in a few months worth of steroids and I came pretty darn close to a hospital stay. I've tried limiting my fiber intake which seems to help...maybe? I don't eat raw fruits/veggies because everyone says that is bad though I would literally sell my soul for a huge cold house salad with lots of cucumber and carrots and ranch (mouth now watering). I've tried herbal supplements, all kinds of vitamins (I like the liquid kind!), fish oils, blah, blah , blah....Not one thing really sticks out as something that really helps. There are some foods I have found I really cannot tolerate anymore: the most recent being sugary cereals. I thought a bowl of the generic Lucky Charms would be no big deal but have had quite a bit of blood in my stool for the last 2 days as a result...sigh...When this happens I try to go back to bland foods and I always drink LOTS of water.
On my way home from work today I decided I was really exhausted and didn't want to cook anything and just wanted a stupid cheeseburger and would accept the consequences - though I have not found burgers to trigger anything in the past. So I did it. I admit it. I ate a cheeseburger after work. Slap my hands, I know. Weird thing is - I FEEL BETTER???!! Why is this? It's happened before too! I don't understand why a greasy cheeseburger always seems to make me feel better. This is just so counterintuitive. I go from watery stool and blood this morning to soft but slightly formed stool this evening. Maybe I'm giving credit where it is not due? I don't know. I started keeping a food/symptom journal over a week ago to try to help me track any correlations between my food intake and IBD issues that I may be missing. I hope to find a nutritionist in my area that has experience in UC or Crohn's that I can get help from because to be honest, right now, I have NO CLUE what to eat anymore.
When I think about food (which is all the time since I'm on prednisone at the moment) my head starts swimming and I just want to take a nap. And not the nice "I had a fantastic meal now I want to slip into a food coma" kind of nap..no, the "I'm so confused the only thing I can think that may make it better is to go to sleep and start over when I wake up" kind of nap. I'm sure there are answers out there but I have yet to find any. I often miss the days when my food choices were as involved as 1. can I afford this, and 2. does this look tasty. Now it's 1. can I afford this, 2. does it look tasty 3. does it scare me 4. how will I feel after I eat this, 5. is eating this worth how I may feel later, 6. is this considered "gut friendly" 7. is eating/drinking this going to put me in the hospital, etc. It's really never ending and very frustrating at times.
To make a long story short, I need a personal chef with an unlimited pantry/fridge at my disposal so I can try this or that and maybe one day many years from now I can make some sense out of something that seems like it would be so simple - eating food. If anyone knows any that want to work for free and come live in my kitchen - I'll be happy to give you my number :)
-Kate
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